CS: Source, emails.

Some really good emails this week. Who should I send the game too?

Ok, I could go about telling you the reasons I want this, but I've already told you them. Instead, I've decided to go with the trends the others win with. If I win this game, I will use it to totally PWN the newb's with my M4A1. I would go around and head shot everyone, in the name of JB Pounders. Then, I'd shoot them after I already killed them. After I got noticed, I'd start my own clan and call it JB Pounding, in lieu of you. I hope you see that I absolutely need this.

Jons

Oh my lord. My heart actually skipped a beat when I saw what you were giving away.
But apart from cardiac calisthenics, why should you give me, a simple girl, Counterstrike: Source? Because I kick ass.
I learned how to play first person shooters when my high school friends would loan me 24 hour access to their Steam accounts, which hosted a bevy of glorious games: Counterstrike, CS Source, Half-life, Half-life 2, Half-life Deathmatch, Day of Defeat... hours of freedom and bloody mayhem would be mine as I learned to snipe, strafe, and re-spawn. But then the brief access would be denied when they reset their passwords, leaving me to pine away at my own computer, resigned to playing Spider Solitaire and the Sims.
When I got to college, I was no longer allowed access to their accounts and I never was able to buy CS for myself due to a lack of funds (because I was buying too much food) and a lack of n00bs to pwn (since I'd be forced to play online and get my butt handed to me. While I was good at sniping my friends on our dedicated server, when I played one time against *real* players, I was laughed of the de_dust playing field.)
What this all boils down to is that obviously, I need this game. I need to become a better player, and a better human altogether. It's fate, don't you see? As I face my last year of college, the memories from my last year in high school are flooding back to me, and only Counterstrike: Source can help me transition into graduate school, law school, whatever school, and beyond.

Yours in snipery,
Vey
Baton Rouge

Hi.

I would like to have your game because I have a ladyfriend that is divorced, her husband left her and the boy and he's a 14 year old boy with downes syndrome (Probably didn't spell that right.) He loves computer action games and I would mail it to him..

Thanks

Brian
Wexford, PA

Hi JB
Counter strike is pretty fun, but I don't want it, I do want ajoost invite tho. Pretty please
Geo-tuscaloosa

Some really creative emails this week.

I received some really creative and ridiculous emails. All of them have some really good quotable lines. Who do you guys think I should pick?
Comment!

I believe that hat should be in my possession because I need a hat. My previous hats are all undersized from my hair growing too much, and I can wear the Vegas hat. It would give me great deal to pee next to someone in a bathroom and say, "Hey, guess where I got this hat?" He wouldn't know because I would wear it sidewards (backwards with a twist). Then I would use my free hand to spin the hat in his direction and say, "Vegas, baby, Vegas!" If he gives me sass, which he probably will, I can unravel some rubber bands and shoot them at him (after I shake and zipper, of course). The coat rack won't do much for me, but if I build a snowball fight fort or something, who knows, I might need a coat rack. Word, homie.

-Max, Pennsylvania

Hi! I just stumbleupon'd your site today, and what a perfect fit it is! I've been wanting to get a coat rack just like the one you're giving away! If you send it to me, I will put it up at my work where it is very badly needed (I broke the old one...flimsy plastic junk).

-Jim

A good reason why I should get these magnificent items? Because I wrote you a poem about the three items.


Thoughts of all the items I've missed
Leaves me crying in my bed
And if i don't get that coat rack I'll be pissed
I'd also love a Las Vegas hat to sit upon my head

A rubber band ball to make even bigger
Man I will deck out my room with this stuff much the same as a diamond grill on a wigger
Sure he's white, but he's got bling
So won't you please send me atleast one thing?

-Mitchell from Georgia

Dear John,

I regret to say that this relationship can no longer continue. Despite repeated warnings I still found you last week in the company of two hookers, one of which had volunteered her ass to be your personal coke plate. Really, John, snorting lines of coke off a hooker's ass is so 80's! Didn't you learn anything at all from all those pirated DVDs we used to watch? I guess not, since I found you in the aforementioned position just days after our talk about hookers, their asses and your nose can- wait, is this John Banks? Oh, crap...sorry, wrong John, just ignore all that.

As you can clearly see I'm not only full of ribald, ersatz wit, I'm also suffering from entirely too much time on my hands. So, to answer your question as to why you should give me your stuff all I can say is:

I NEED that coat rack. No really seriously. I'm a knitter/crocheter/sewer (as in person who sews, not the pipe poop goes into) and make a lot of scarves, shawls and wraps. I have no where to hang them up so they get wrinkled and the cats sleep on them. After all that time spent making something lovely and nice I hate to see it turned into a smelly, hair-covered cat bed. Wouldn't you?

The rubber band ball is also a 'must have' for me. See I have 3 dogs and 5 cats and the dogs love to chase the ball (well, except the chihuahua, the ball's bigger than her head) but the cats don't really like ball, however the cats LOVE rubber bands, so much so that I've had to start hiding them lest they become fun, rubbery snake substitutes for the cats. With a rubber band ball I would not only have a place to store all my hidden rubber bands but the dogs and cats could play together in harmony at last.

The Vegas Hat has my head aching for it. I love odd caps and frequently wear them when I don't feel like messing with my hair (pretty much always) because I'm an inherently lazy creature.

So if you care for things made with love, a peaceful and harmonious home, animals and wild southern women who scoff at coiffed hair and made up faces then there's really only one clear option isn't there?

Your Adoring Fan,
Kellie, GA

PS I'll be over later with the hookers and coke.

Here are the emails for the Mead Composition book. Who should I pick?

I didn't get as many emails for the composition book. The emails I did get were very good though. It will be a tough decision. So here are the possible recipients one from NYC, Canada, the Philippines, and Ohio.

Hi JB:

Not only would I use the Mead notebook for jotting down deep thoughts as I thunk 'em, but as an added bonus, they would be Canadian thoughts — mailing the notebook to me would really improve the scope of your map!


Hopefully your next recipient,
Suzanne Canada

A Good Reason Why You Should Send It To Me:

When I'm in a funk, I usually buy new notebooks, write on the first few pages, then stick them everywhere in my room. I'm in a royal funk right now, but have no money to buy a new notebook. How about the various notebooks you've already started, you ask. Sorry, they've all been doodled to death.

But, even if it's not a new notebook, but if it came from someone from the other side of the world, living a life somewhat different than mine, I can appreciate it. More so because you already wrote something in the pages.

It's going to be something different for me, anyway.

Thanks. And nice blog ^__^

-Karen Philippines

I do not know you…although I like to think we will be friends someday. 
This Mead notebook is meant to be MINE. As a passionately creative person
By nature, I love to draw, write, and design & at one time entrusted many
Intimate thoughts and ideas to the Mead trademark.

I have recently been in a creative RUT! Doing the 9-5 (and then some), while keeping me
In the design world, takes its toll on my creative spirit. I am left drained and without
Energy to create outside of the four walls of my design studio.

This Mead notebook has the potential to be the catalyst that joltz me back into my once full
Creative space. In fact, if granted the opportunity to FILL this notebook…I will fill it with thoughts,
Drawings, and ideas & send it BACK to you, a vast improvement from it’s original status.

In short, this notebook has the capacity to bring me back from the edge. A wild yet withered
Blossom, parched without the presence of HEART. I could go out and buy any old notebook, true enough.
But receiving it as a gift will hold me responsible for my inspirations & thus, I will not sleep without writing
In it diligently & without contempt.

Be my HEART, John Brooks…Be my HEART.


-Kristi Marie

(former Midwest cronie, now NYC inhabitant, basement studio in QUEENS)

I have always had a soft spot in my heart for composition notebooks and have recently adopted the idea of collecting them because I use them so much. In high school I had two composition notebooks to pass notes in class, and I buy a new composition notebook every time I get a new story idea. I have about 15-20 composition notebooks, and would be honored to add yours to my collection.

Thank you very much for your time.
Anne Ohio